Monday, October 24, 2011

Life of choice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their sick bed:

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives. People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them. When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence. By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result. We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying. It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

6. I wish that I had been a human first and then a man..

Many of the men realized that they were role playing all their life. While being male Chauvenistic against their own will, they followed the dictates of their society or community. They conformed all their life trying to act like a stereotypical MAN. In doing so, they never got a chance to be a human first. There was always a deep longing to be human and humane, but, they were afraid they might be misunderstood as not being 'manly'. Dont fear change, be the change and stop pretending to others. Be what you really are and be Happy long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly.

Choose happiness


Do it anyway!!!!!!!!!

Between you and God - a poignant wisdom.

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered; Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway.

If you are honest and sincere, people may cheat you;

Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;

Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will forget tomorrow;

Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you've got and it may never be enough; Give your best anyway.

For you see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;

It was never between you and them anyway

This was written by Mother Teresa and is engraved on the wall of her home for children.


Friday, May 14, 2010

which is better??

I like to see the pleasant smile of my neighbour's daughter!! She is a cute little 4 year old!How i envy her at times!! I feel so ashamed to admit this...but its really true!If only i could get back to that age just for a year atleast..to borrow or beg even..to become so free..of all ..worrying things of life!All those miracle-workers..scientists out there..do something guys!!! I am sure you will have atleast a billion subscribers out there who will really buy your invention!!! You could be richer than Warren Buffet or Bill gates!! you could even issue initial public offers at a great prize and a billion people will again buy your shares!! be assured!..You know why? All because of something called ..the love of life!! Dont know how all this actually works...but i find people and souls very reluctant to leave their lives!So when a choice is offered what not they could rewind and do??There may be people who want to correct their mistakes..there would be those who want to make some mistakes which they never got to do! there would be people who want to commit murders..there may be those who want to change their whole life-style..But does this sound familiar??? Wait a minute...this is all leading back to the still chaotic life!!!!!! So what's the point???So..just be happy and enjoy what you have!The bird in hand is better than the one in the bush!!!!

space!!

I never understood the meaning of the word..space...in real life!! I read about giving and getting space of my own!And when i actually think about it i really feel funny!!! I understand that each one of us is entitled to their own space! No one has the right to intrude in to that willingly!! But has our society accepted this as a legitimate need? well., i dont think so! Honestly,isnt it about time that we give and take some space?? For our sake!atleast!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Those Halcyon days....!!!!!

When we were kids,thats me,my brother and my cousin we had a lot of fun stealing stuff!!! yes i got you here!! No..No..not money or any of that stuff!! We were stealing rose apple.We used to call it red champakka!! There was a big tree of rose apple in my home but it was very hesitant to produce fruits in summer!!I think it was realllly scared of us ripping off its fruits and branches by three of us!! But fortunately my grandmother's sister had a huge tree in her house which happened to be our next plot.But there was a problem.To be very frank,she hated us kids!! just because we were such a miserable cause of anxiety to her!! She used to protect and guard the fruits like a security personnel!!!! I have this gut feeling that she never even considered the fact that we were kids!!! More over she didnt have any small children in her home.All grandchildren were away in different places!! That left us the sole self proclaimed owners of all the natural stuff that grew in the three acre area where only these two houses were there!! Imagine all those mangoes,Jackfruits( not really a great choice then!!) sitafal(seethapazham..Yummm)chickoo,two varieties of rose apples,another special item called paneer champa..(a fruit)...Incidently all these grew at the same season!!And thats during our summer break!!

We had a regular routine planned out by my grandmother,to learn two verses of sanskrit sloka everyday,to help her pick the seed out of tamarind friut collected earlier(then to process it to store!!)to practice classical music for exactly half an hour(!!!!!) to pick hibiscus leaves for making hair conditioner for the next day...the scedule goes on and on...
Somehow we used to go fast forward with all these ...in one hour... and our final objective for the rest of the day was to pick maximum rose apples from the neighbouring place without being caught!! We did manage most of the days,to do an excellent job at it though we had our own mishappenings at times.The old lady would come screaming through the huge wodden door and will directly complain to our grandmother.We would be grounded for two days..but the will of a determined person...hmm... we never ever gave up!!!! We later devised this excellent plan which was totally full proof.We would make my cousin stand close to the door and would ask her to sing loudly(one particular song!!) as soon as she hears the door being opened so that my brother who would be on the tree,plucking ..will have time to climb down and run!!!

Earth Day...Earth Hour.. Earth memory.. Earth time..earth colour..Earth..file..Earth..people...!!!!!???

Of late i hear so much about Earth and various words from the English dictionary associated with it! Now this made me think about our very existance!! Are we not part of the earth?or are we some kind of extra terrestrials trying to protect something that they own !!The so called awareness campaign should come from within oneself!! This you cannot aquire from anywhere else.people should learn to accept the simple fact that earth is our HOME and not an apartment on lease!!! when that realization comes there comes the awareness too!! To a great extent this comes from ones own background and their way of bringing up.This strong conviction has to be embossed in oneself so that Earth and us are one not two separate entities!!!

Saturday, November 28, 2009

A thousand reasons for ........

A thousand reasons not to be born again!!!!!

You don’t have to learn how to send a voice sms.

You don’t have to plaster a smile when you actually don’t feel like smiling

You don’t have to keep your ATM number secret and never remembering when needed.

You don’t have to learn how to download a video from you-tube.

You don’t want to let anyone read your mind.

You don’t want to go along the flow and never against it.

You don’t want to share your intimate thoughts with anyone.

You don’t want to let others control your job.

You don’t want to be heard at all.

You don’t want to listen to others against your wishes.

You don’t want to discuss anything that happens at your work place.

You don’t want to scream loudly to let your feelings.

You don’t want to remind..hey,I am part of the family too.

You don’t have to be surrounde by people who think they always are better in every possible sense.

You don’t have to show that you are actually doing some favour to others.

You don’t have to comment on anything as an expert,that’s under the sun.

You don’t want to entertain people even when you are not in the right frame of mind.

You don’t want to be told by people as to do things in their way.

You don’t want to hear heroic stories of others.

You don’t want to hear the thousand-times-told incidents again.

You don’t want to clean the house frantically for sudden intruders.

You don’t have to do the chores without break.

You don’t want to bang the door at a nosy neighbour.

You don’t want to switch off your mobile phones.

You don’t want to call a friend who doest bother to remember your birthday but an insistant guest.

You don’t have to suffer loads of boozing and bossing.

You don’t have to re-heat food twice, to eat dinner.

You don’t have to call a friend and say..sorry I cant make it since I have people visiting.

You don’t have to tell your kids to pick up the phone and inform that mummy is not around.

You don’t have to avoid being side-kicked by everyone.

You don’t have to pretend that you are very talented and anything is possible.

You don’t have to look for side-glances to read hidden meanings.

You don’t have to clean a messy kitchen.

You don’t have to remove the stains on your shower curtain all by yourself.

You don’t have to rearrange your furniture when someone ‘important’ walks in in an hours notice.

You don’t have to learn the latest gizmo talk and jargon.

You don’t have to tell people how up-to-date you actually are.

You don’t have to boast about your accidental encounter with a celebrity.

You don’t have to fake an accent when you are with people of multinational background.

You don’t have to talk gibberish at times or through the phone.

You don’t have to keep silent to grab everyones attention.

You don’t have to scold children.

You don’t have to tell people what they are expected of doing.

You don’t have to pretend reading only sophisticated books!and not the one you wants to read!

You don’t have to rush to the grocer when someone drops in.

You don’t have to go to the bank to change your pin number.

You don’t have to leave the routine for a day and do something wild and feel that you have committed a crime.

You don’t have to look at department store-windows and worry about your wallet.

You don’t have to know what the president is going to do in the next two weeks!

You don’t have to woory about your neighbour watching you through the tinted glass when your make up is not on.

You don’t have to feel jealous of your friend’s jewellery collection.

You don’t have to hear your husband praising your friend’s wife on her culinary adventure.

You don’t have to go deaf at some occasions when only your presence is needed.

You don’t have to carry your laptop just to be among the ‘in thing’.

You don’t have to always reply to unavoidable,silly conversations.

You don’t want to worry about millions of kids without a single meal a day.

You don’t want to think about all the money that’s being spent on proving Big Bang theory.

You don’t have to worry about Afghanistan or Iraq or the car bombings or suicide bombers.

You don’t have to tell your daughter as pick her friends carefully eventhough they don’t want to be told.

You don’t have to tell your Mother that everything is wonderful and it’s a good life always.

You don’t have to thank people though they didn’t do a single thing for you.

You don’t have to explain a curious eager-beaver friend why you have kept a tea light near a statue of Budhha.

You don’t have to put up with people who will never make you laugh intentionally.

You don’t have to drive after midnight when you want to hit the bed.

You don’t have to self-invite yourself at some point,in your friend/relative’s place.

You don’t have to comment on how well they have kept their places in style.

You don’t have to tell how perfect your host/hostess is.

You don’t have to keep guessing whether it will rain or not before going for a drive.

You don’t have to appreciate the displayed dress in the shop window and later wish that you shold have had it!

You don’t have to worry about your children’s education.

You don’t have to feel that just because you didn’t pray for one day.the world is going to end!

YOU DON’T HAVE TO WORRY AT ALL THAT YOU ARE LIVING!!!! (hwzaaaat!!!!!!)